Trying Times and Sweet Compensations

Ok, here is some of the "back-blogging" I was talking about. With Cooper's second birthday coming up, I have spent lots of time thinking about what a blessing and a miracle he is. I feel that way about all of my children, but especially about my two youngest.

Most of you reading this blog probably know that seven years ago, Rob and I were both diagnosed with cancer within eight months of each other. Our fifth baby, Kamryn, was just two weeks old when Rob was diagnosed. After a minor surgery, a major surgery, some rare but major complications, and a major infection that almost took his life, he began recovering. His second surgery (the one that was so difficult and set the whole downhill spiral into motion) was on June 19, 2003. Kamryn was nine weeks old. He was sick and in the hospital off and on through August. By September, it looked like life might start getting back to normal a little bit, but in October he was diagnosed with Melanoma. Thankfully, it was found very early and he only needed a small surgery (only a four inch scar, compared to the twelve inch scar he was left with in June).

Once again, we were in hopes that life would return to normal. We were told by all of Rob's doctors that because of his cancer and the surgery, we would not be able to have any more children. We were OK with that, since we had planned on Kamryn being our last anyway, and we were just completely overwhelmed trying to get Rob back to being healthy and strong. He had lost 4o pounds, and had lots of recovering to do.

By January, I was starting to be sad about the fact that we could not have any more children, even though we had decided five was a good number for us. By February, we had other things to worry about, though, when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Then it was time for my surgery, complete with my own set of serious complications, radiation, and a long recovery. I know this all sounds awful, and I wouldn't want to do it again, but I am thankful for the things I learned during this time and the many blessings that were given to us. We are thankful for the service, fasting, and prayers from our family, friends, and ward members during that year! We were so blessed to be able to continue taking care of our children and to be able to be happy while all of this was going on. We felt like Kamryn was a special little blessing sent to get us through this hard time. She was such a good baby, and was always with me, during our stays at the hospital during Rob's illness, all of the doctor appointments, our many visits to the E.R., and everything else that was going on. She was a constant reminder of the Lord's love for us. The hardest time for me was when I had to be separated from her and the rest of my family during my radiation. It was so great when I got to hold her and hug the rest of my family again. Anyway, enough about the trials...

The kids visiting Rob at University Hospital

Kamryn snuggling with dad while he recovers from surgery

Needless to say, we were surprised to find out I was pregnant with Caden a little over a year after my cancer. I called the number on the back of the e.p.t. box at 2 a.m. to ask if the plus sign always meant positive. The nurse just laughed at me and asked if it was my first pregnancy and I was embarrassed to say number 6. She said, "honey, you're pregnant. Call your doctor in the morning." I had a great pregnancy and as soon as the nurse put Caden in my arms I said "Rob, I want another one!" So, two years later, we had another one. That's why I've always thought of Caden and Cooper as my bonus babies. What blessings!

Caden, one day old

Cooper, one day old

So, the reason I'm thinking about all of this right now, and writing this very long and very personal post, is that I am just so thankful for them. About a year ago, I was home from church one Sunday with both of them sick, and I was watching Music and the Spoken Word. In between the different songs the choir was singing, the announcer spoke about trials. He said that the Lord allows trials to come into each of our lives, but he also blesses us with sweet compensations. As soon as I heard him say that, I knew that's what Caden and Cooper are. They are our sweet compensations. I have loved having them come to our family, and not a day goes by that I do not thank Heavenly Father for them; for loving us enough to help us through our trials, and then bless us with sweet compensations. I honestly don't think they would be here now if it weren't for the trials we went through with our cancer. They are worth every bit of it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!